Day 25 The Cultural Snob

The Cultural Snob as one of my personalities isn't what you may at first glance think of. I'm not of those in the upper classes who look down upon the lower classes. I'm snobbish (tending to look down upon) on people who blindly crow about how wonderful America is.

It's not that I feel American Culture is worthy of praise (it really isn't. American Exceptionalism be damned), or that its values and contributions have made the world a better place (absolutely not), or that its customs and mores are worth duplicating the world over. My kind of cultural snobbishness is my own accumulation of my likes and dislikes which I believe that if everyone shared it, our world would be a much better place.

And to this goes my political snobbishness, which is stridently finding fault with the current power structure. For example, democrats and republicans are useless placeholders of our political system. There is really not that much difference between a conservative and a liberal; they both want to keep the status quo (and the perilous state of the "middle class" at) on indefinite hold.  All the middle class does is act as the buffer between the very poor and the very wealthy. That's always been the role of the "middle class" from Day 1 of this republic.

Economical bearishness causes me to hold my nose when I hear people defend capitalism and its social contract when it is obvious that countries that adopt some kind of socialism enjoy a higher quality of life than good ole America! They bemoan socialism while cheering for social security, corporate welfare, medicare -- but giving American Citizens free health care (like they do in more civilized countries) is one step closer to Armageddon. Idiots.

Cultural snobbishness: what I like in the Arts is the best the Arts have to offer. My favorite painter also happens to be the best painter the world has ever known, in my opinion. snobbishness always comes from opinions, don't they? Plainly put, snobbishness, in its tendency to look down on others and judge them for being slow on the uptake, isn't good for me in my process.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look down on people who don't live up to my expectations.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look down on my fellow Americans because they are ignorant and clueless on how they are being used by the same hand that's enslaving us.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to allow this to frustrate me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a snob that has no tolerance of contrary views against what I have considered.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I'm right and they're wrong.

I commit myself to let go of the snobbery and judgments towards those who disagree with my opinions.
I commit myself to realize thatbeing a snob of any kind is simply not necessary.

Day 10: The Substances of Separation

 "But as with Energy that has emerged as the substance of separation within me, because I did not stand with/as my equality and oneness – Money as the World-System has emerged as the manifestation of separation, because we as humanity could not regulate/take directive principles of our relationships with ourselves, each other and this physical existence in working/living together, and so money became the substitute that is controlling/regulating the functioning/existing of humanity as a whole together on this Earth." (Emphasis added) [1]

And here the formulation of the entirety of the Human Condition is succinctly stated, framed and made crystal clear. The alienation, dread, loneliness and the search for meaning and control in this world can all be reduced to a singular condition - separation. To deal with this sense of dreadful separation the fearful minds of human beings created Gods. Then shortly after that - money.


And it was all placed before us by the shamen, priests and philosophers, and later by the elites, scientists and investment bankers, all selling the same snake oil - and we all simply bought it and never questioned it. Hell, I knew something was terribly wrong with this world since my childhood, and I knew the "Spiritual Masters" were not telling us the entire story - but I never imagined how deep the controls really went! "How are going to make others buy into their enslavement?" Answer: print some dollars and tell them they have to buy the right to survive and see what happens - very few will even question it! Oh yes, there have been movements to make the financial racket "more fair" and less absolute, but look - movements like the Marxism, Communism and socialism were co-opted by Capitalism from Day One, and long ago became irrelevant in the matter concerning how human relations should be ideally formed. Social critics like Marx, Emma Goldman and Herbert Marcuse  and even Freud who held various straws of the problems of social oppression between human beings could not have guessed how far they would have to go in their research to get anywhere near the clarity and truthfulness of the quoted passage above. One could scarcely do better in finding a better laid - out schematic on how this world became so fucked up. Don't fall for the baloney from money - chasing New Agers and Celebrity Gurus and other paragons of wisdom, either. To them, the physical world is not real, anyway. The only things that really get them juiced is energy and money. Doesn't matter if most of the followers of New Age-ism don't have any money! They see that as their "Earth-School" opportunity to think and grow rich - content within their own bubble of consciousness while the rest of the world goes to hell. 


As a former Seeker of Truth about the Nature of Reality, I sought answers from what I believed were unorthodox sources. And while I was entertained with looking through these "channeled" material and "spiritual" hogwash, what I ultimately got out of it was an unsatisfying sense of "something missing." But I just couldn't put my finger on it. The entire spiritual construct seemed completely ineffective in stopping (or at the very least, curbing) the daily parade of atrocities and suffering that infect this world. All they offered were warm, fuzzy words and mental experiments where we were promised to have the power to "create our own reality" through the powers of consciousness. But if this was so, why did nothing ever change?


Because the problem is our relationship to consciousness, energy and (wait for it) money. And if one considers that this Holy Trinity of the substances of separation is where we must begin our work in deconstructing the problem of the enslavement of the human race, one must feel that we are finally standing on the firm ground of sanity and an actionable path in finding solutions to our problems. The solution is to first recognize that such substances of separation in fact exist. Too many people need to understand this. But, there are many seekers like myself who can put 1 + 1 together. And now that this truly revolutionary turn in human understanding has finally been made available for the first time, it is only a matter of time before more people attain the same realizations needed to finally place this world in a state of equality and oneness which is our True Substance and Being. Many thanks to Sunette Spies, Bernard Poolman and the rest of the Destonians who are making this material available.




I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself for failing to understand the connection between the energy of consciousness within and the energy of money that I allowed to control my actions and thoughts.
I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself for not recognizing that there exists a separation within the relationships of human beings and within that "gap" flows the blood of the system: money. And it is this blood of the system that I yearned to be baptized in, allowing me to become acceptable in the sight of the system and to myself. 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek after answers in unverifiable sources that promised that "everything will be alright in the end" and that "love and light will one day vanquish evil forever," instead of immediately question why love and light has never accomplished one goddamn thing in existence except deluding people into false beliefs that promise energy, higher consciousness and an escape from consequence.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could find the truth and the truth could "set me free" 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to come to the idea that everything in life was "all about money," and feeling incapable of changing anything about how it all worked, especially myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could desire to obtain money and pursuing "higher consciousness" became my "directive principle" in my life. 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with money throughout my life, a pattern that was duplicated/copied and passed down from my family who always struggled with not having enough money.


I commit myself in expanding my realizations about the energetic of consciousness and money and utilize that understanding in showing myself and others the way towards equality and oneness, which is the only solution to the problems that threaten and diminish all.



[1] Heaven's Journey to Life, Day 3

Day 9 The Alluring Illusion of Mental Energy

"I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand how Money drives the very Energy of and within my Mind, and thus fuels and defines the nature of my thoughts, internal conversations and reactions of emotions and feelings."[1]

Looking at this dimensional schematic, I am struck at the obviousness of the truth of this sentence of self-forgiveness. The ubiquitous interplay and influence of money upon the energetic development and operation of our minds is nearly impossible to see for one's self unless it is pointed out by another. The energetic patterning and contouring within our multiple personalities - and we have many called up for any situation that presents itself - due to the desire for acquiring money has usurped, or maybe become, our reason to exist. It certainly channels one's thoughts down specific pathways to the point of extinguishing the wonder of Life and replacing it wholesale with a cheap and tawdry imitation based on a conceptual extension of ourselves as money. In the old days, God was the focus of spiritual contemplation. But for a long time now, money has taken God's throne. And it may turn out that the two are most likely the same thing.

"Think and Grow Rich," written by Napoleon Hill and popularized by the movie The Secret and other New Age charlatans was the ultimate statement of intent of the spiritual justification of acquiring wealth by focusing one's mental energetic of the specific goal of acquiring wealth through consistent, conscious focusing on greenbacks. The Americans were always going to be the first at this game as such a stance elevates American Individualism and Exceptionalism to patriotic and spiritual heights. I even bought into the positive-thinking crap to some extent, and when that predictably failed, I continued making my thoughts all about having money, getting money or wanting to get my hands on it in any way possible. "

There isn't anything left wrong with me that money couldn't cure," is a line from a song by the Waitresses that I wholeheartedly agreed with. If only I had enough money to do everything I want... I can't tell you the amount of days I wasted day-dreaming about that one.

So I'm here to say that thanks to the above realization, I am very grateful to have the opportunity to begin dismantling the monument of my energetic mental structures I've created in response to  my obsessive desire over money and the lack of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form obsessive thoughts towards money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form obsessive thoughts towards the lack of money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form obsessive thoughts within my constant daydreaming about money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form obsessive thoughts forming various plans in acquiring money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself toform obsessive thoughts towards money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form beliefs about my state of well-being as it is connected to money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form judgments over my effectiveness as a human being with the amount of money one has in their bank account.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to covet the objects of what others have.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the energetics of money determine which patterns my mind obsesses over, which is money and the things money can buy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience time as being divided in-between paychecks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself toactually believe that there is nothing left wrong with me that money couldn't cure is "true."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a strange, improper and codependent relationship to money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become moved by the highs and lows of money coming and flowing out of my life.

I commit myself to change my codependent relationship with money to where I am not influenced by its flow.
I commit myself to change the patterns of thought that have been the expression of self- sabotage where money is concerned.
I commit myself to stop participating in the covetousness  of other people's things.
I commit myself to stop the backchat of daydreaming about acquiring things.
I commit myself to stop measuring my life in the interim between paychecks
I commit myself to adhering to a budget and become more effective with money
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[1] Day 1, Who I Am as Money - Heaven's Journey to Life Blog



Day One Heaven's Journey to Life Blog

Day 8: Betrayal!

"My friends ain't enough for one hand." [1]

This post has taken me over a week to post. I spent (err, wasted) lots of time ruminating over the subject - to make sure I get it just right. But it doesn't seem to be happening for me. But one week is enough and I'm just going to let it out so I can move past this wall of indecision here.

Everyone goes through this. That special event where one is "betrayed" by friends, or those whom once thought of as "friends." The evaporation of trust whether if it manifests in an instant or a long-drawn out growing suspicion has the same effect. One is left wondering how one missed all the signs that were obviously there. For my part I have always felt a moment of disorienting nausea when betrayed by someone. Obviously one can only be betrayed by those one previously trusted. Arthur Miller claimed that betrayal is the "only truth that sticks." Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but the chance of being betrayed by people is one reason why I never got very close to many people. Another way of saying this is that I trust very few. And the more I've been betrayed, the fewer that list gets.

Here's one story about betrayal I don't mind sharing. A couple of close friends of mine promised to put me up at their house for a while until I could get back on my feet. I expected to be there for a month or two but it was only four days before I was told I had to leave and they threw me out on my ass in the middle of a snow-crusted Ohio winter. It was a bit strange to be on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, especially from people I had known for decades. But this is not to say I have been guiltless of betraying others. Far from it, although it would be a close bet on who I've betrayed more, myself or others (I've certainly betrayed myself more times). This would be a lot easier post to write if I concentrated on the numerous ways people have betrayed me. However, such a tack would not lead to self-responsibility but to blaming others and forgetting the pattern that was mine established within self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for establishing the pattern of betrayal within my self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that others could "betray" me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a fear of being "betrayed" by others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for betraying myself over and over again, whether it was from an idea of self-preservation, survival or self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to betray Life by not living what is best for all at all times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so indecisive about how to post this blog on betrayal due to doubts and fear I held for not getting the blog "right."
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing myself withing indecision of "how" this blog  "should be written." I see now that my indecision was resistance and hiding from what I faced in myself within the subject of betrayal. I didn't want to face or see who I was/am within "being betrayed," betraying myself and betraying others.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to posses the required integrity that allowed self-sabotage and betrayal of myself and others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to betray myself as life when I by not following through everything that needs to be followed through. This extends to all parts of my life.

I commit myself to halt this pattern of self-sabotage.
I commit myself to stop betraying myself with irrelevant nonsense.
I commit myself to stop betraying others with irrelevant nonsense.
I commit myself to become worthy of birthing myself into the physical and not be satisfied and distracted by the mental illusions of my mind.

[1] The Fall. "Frenz."_"The Frenz Experiment"_ Beggars Banquet. 1988.