Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Day 36. Grouchy

Grumbling, morose and sullen. It's a thing called being "grouchy." When does this personality pop up? Through some kind of frustration or annoyance or commotion going on in the house. Things sometimes conspires to make me grouchy, and really, I don't really care for that feeling, anyway.

I'm not feeling grouchy now, but earlier today I was being bugged while trying to work. It always seems that if I'm not doing anything, nobody bothers me. Just when I'm working. Dogs barking, doors slamming, interruptions. Eventually I just go into the basement and wait for the noise to die down.

It's been two months since I posted a Journey to Life (JTL) blog, and there's been a lot that has happened during that time. In and out of the hospital twice, falling in love with Strawberry Jello, getting back to feeling more like myself in years and years, which makes me and my partner very happy. A lot of being "grouchy" (I believe) was because I was ill for so long that my body, mind, relationships suffered. "When the mind is damaged, the body is damaged," someone I know once said. It's true. I experienced this psychic and physical distortion for myself.

So I'm not as "grouchy" or taking things so personally these days. I'm still mulling and considering what it is in the thoughts, beliefs and feelings that I have had that produced such a manifestation of illness. And after what seems like a vacation from self-responsibility, I'm learning - or reacquainting myself how writing from the gut again. My journey it seems, is just beginning...

More to come..