Day 28. The Metaphysician

I really wasn't much of a metaphysician after the notion hit me. In fact, by virtue of a singular mystical experience that should never have happened to one like me. The "experience" which I never was  able to discern on my own, was a puzzle I couldn't crack. So I turned to the books of the Metaphysician, ancient and modern. Instead of getting to know myself, I wasted years trying in vain to get a handle on one unfathomable experienced that lasted all of 30 seconds. If only I had spent my time gaining common sense instead of looking to others to explain my experiences.

I poured myself into the ocean of wisdom and ancient teachings that offered up a surprising phrase or two, but I didn't notice that those words did nothing to improve my life. I learned far to late that words and sentences alone to not add anything of value in this world. I just felt "a lot more smarter" than anyone else. It's so strange to me now when look back on myself in those days. I thought I had a pretty good wisdom thing going on, but it was just useless junk that floated around in my head. I was a Metaphysician. It was like a club that existed only for me. I secretly wished for some metaphysical intervention, but alas, I was duped. I bought channelling books by the truckload. Can't say that it helped me at all, except to never place my faith in things that reek of deceptions, which was hard to swallow since that shit
sounded reasonable at the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for placing value on an experience that was mysterious and an enigma, and that such experiences are important and meaningful.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel "special" that something mysterious happened to me thus it was an experience of metaphysics.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look to others as sources that gave what I believed in validity.\
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enchanted by New Age balderdash, because I believed they had the same inside poop that I had.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize that my time as a Metaphysician was of little consequence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had some "special gift."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be duped by my own bubble of knowledge and information. It only led me in circles without getting a hold of why metaphysics has to exist in the first place.

I commit myself to never again fall for the teachings of others who are as in the dark as I am when it comes to metaphysics.
I commit myself to never fall for the fluffy tones of the Metaphysician.
I am ready to find out who I really am, and to prepare myself into the living of self-honesty and common sense.