Day 15. The Bookworm

"Discontinue sagacity, discard knowledge
The people benefit a hundred-fold."
LaoTse


"All the philosophies in the world can't compare to a single physical atom."
Bernard Poolman




I've always enjoyed reading and having a collection of books to support my quest for gaining knowledge and information. For some reason I never experienced any difficulty with reading. My books, my knowledge and my information were crucial in creating and gaining my perspectives in relation to this world. Early in my life I was instilled  with the belief that knowledge and information were the touchstones of our reality. Apparently, people who lived before me had thought great thoughts which were written down, which in fact had initiated and sustained human evolution. My favorite place to be on earth when I was a child was within the marble and sandstone structure called the library.

Now, why would I be spend time talking about something as innocuous as reading as a patterned point to take on? The point is this: The pattern become very dominant in most of my characters and it entailed reading, reflecting, memorizing details and comparing it to my own perspective. Filling my consciousness with knowledge to me seemed like filling my lungs with air.

People who are familiar with the Desteni Process are also familiar about the parasitic nature of the mind consciousness system. The mind consciousness system is not understood by scientists of the mind and consists of the downloaded info passed down through genetics and through the thoughts and knowledge gained by participating within the world. Everyone has built up various personalities and characters that reflect and to cope with the various memories, parental, social and environmental influences that rain down on us daily. For myself, I've used intelligence, vocabulary, memory, reading and writing to support my world-view and mindset. With these I built up a knowledge and information fortress comprised of the pages of books and magazines which gifted me with my personal perspective of the world - which for a lifetime, I considered "correct." It wasn't until I met and studied with Bernard Poolman that it was revealed to me that my knowledge base that I was so proud of made very precious for myself was essentially a religion. And of course, a religion is nothing more than an organized system of beliefs that is used to control and enslave people to a particular imaginary point.

This isn't the blog where I'm going to write about how the accumulated knowledge and information has not made the life better for the typical (non-wealthy) person in this world aside from the technological conveniences and some medical advances. This is the blog where I am writing about something more personal, where knowledge has failed me because I depended on knowledge to make me a better person. And you can be smart as fuck and have an interesting, rewarding life - but what good is it in a world like this? The smartest people in the world have no ideas and certainly no solutions to the global problems in the world. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the problem with knowledge - it's still quite limited and hasn't solved a single social problem since the days of ancient Greece. My acquired knowledge never rang up the solution to the problems of the world. In fact, I once (and ashamed to admit in public) that once could create their reality through imagination. And that flying saucers were due to arrive any moment. Today I cringe that I ever could be taken in so easily.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that acquiring knowledge and information made me "intelligent," when it only made my self-definition dependent on something outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that "intelligence is better than ignorance," and thus since I was "more intelligent than others" I must be "better than others," not realizing that intelligence is limited and I was limiting myself by defining myself is such ways.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to erect an edifice of personalities based on "intellect" and "wisdom," and within that not knowing that these personality structures were based on imagination and mental limitation and ultimately worthless.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use and accumulate knowledge and information to justify my perspectives of the world without finding or observing a solution to or taking responsibility for the problems my perspectives took notice of and objected to.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become isolated within my mind while amassing volumes of knowledge and information, which only diminished my effectiveness within the relationships I maintained in my world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be seduced by the claims that knowledge and information could find an answer to solve all the world's problems without seeing or understand why they never had anything more than a piddling effect throughout all of history.

I commit myself to no longer plunge myself within the refuge of books for the purpose of acquiring knowledge and information that will justify and feed my ego's need to be "special."
I commit myself to use my acquired knowledge and information in a meaningful way - to further and help bring about a solution to the benefit of all, and not waste time on meaningless mind-worship.