Showing posts with label Citizen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Citizen. Show all posts

Monday, December 17, 2012

Day 35. Planning















Planning. I like to plan things, especially when there's a great potential for me to have a bunch of fun. Sometimes I become a bit obsessive until I feel a tide of revulsion rising within me - I believe I've considered that point enough!

Lately I have been wondering if such planning is done as a coping mechanism to get away from the present-here, which at the moment is filled with boredom and ennui, It's more interesting in finding the right formula for my plans in every detail. Later I realize that I am obsessing for obsession's sake. Don't know about yours, but my mind will find all kinds of ways to entertain me and keep me occupied within my head. I reckon it's call to plan some things, but I am quite sure I'm taking it too far. And in that, I realize it is taking me from facing self. So clever that mind of mine!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dominated by my mind's focus on getting me to obsess over certain things that keep me from being here,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind to focus on things rather than what's here. I really don't care for this as my relationship to my mind resembles the master-slave relationship (with you-know-who as the slave).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see time wasted in my day looking up things on the Internet.

I commit myself to be more self-aware when I experience my mind taking over my day. That's what happens and I don't have any time to waste. So I commit myself to carry on and realize that tomorrow never comes. Especially for those who spend too much time planning for it.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 29. The Citizen

I've had an interesting time as a US  Citizen. I've seen a lot of Shenanigans, to put it ever so lightly, out of my fellow citizens. But let it be known, I was never a proper citizen to be sure. Almost all the training in citizenship is a single class on American Government in your senior year in high school, so by then it is useless to gain any appreciation of the sizeless chasm that yawns between textbook and reality. This is one reason among many why the American Government gets away with so much shit. We as citizens have abdicated our rights to create a Government that reflected the highest ideals of justice and equality. So now we have quite a job to make America worthy of its ideals instead of having to carry this sodden carcass of shame and guilt for what we as citizens have accepted and allowed this country to become; a neoliberal wet dream that faithfully follows Jesus' words,

"Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."

The purveyors of the Bible will claim that this statement only refers to those who refuse to accept the Word of Christ, but Jesus, if he did say something to this effect, must have used the plainest language he could to communicate to the people. Given this view, Jesus is bitterly laying bare the psychology of the human mind, it's insatiable greed, mendacity, and an unholy determination to make others suffer for no reason other than puffing up the little dictator in your mind. And remember, this is the schematic for the neoliberal agenda.

The neoliberal agenda consists of cutting or better, eliminating public services (why?), total deregulation of companies so they can dominate each other, privatize everything that was used for the public good, like roads, libraries, schools. This is what Mitt Romney would have liked to deliver to his country club billionaire gang. But I digress.

The main thing is that we as citizens don't really care about anything beyond our small inconsequential bubble that to us seems like the entire world. We don't care about each other because we believe we don't have the time. I live between two houses and in the two years residing here I do not know either family. We carry masks when we leave our homes and think it's an accomplishment not to have a fucked up day dealing with other people. Ironically, it is within the relationships we form with others that may hold the key, if somehow we could become self-honest with ourselves and then with each other. Be all our sins remembered, as we forgive ourselves, Citizens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not trusted myself with others, and I forgive myself that I have not trusted others around me. It is the fear that is the human condition that drives us all back to our homes where we pray that we are safe and separate from each other.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and deny my citizenship thinking that such a move would give me "liberty."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to becoming angry with my fellow citizens when they went ape shit celebrating the War in Iraq. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate those who drove in cars with their stupid USA flag decals. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for hating them all and wishing them harm.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my fellow Americans are the dumbest people in the world. I can't stand that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for being impatient and frustrated with Americans due to the fact that they are being led like sheep to the slaughter, and they don't care.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated and angry with American leaders, who are in this arena to fatten their pockets along with their friend's pockets while the rest of America (the 99%) can go get fucked.

Therefore, I commit myself to remain critical of American stupidity, but not make it personal.
I commit myself to build stronger relationships with others in my community.
I commit myself to not carry anger and frustration towards my fellow citizens, since equality and oneness starts within each of us before hitting the streets.
I commit myself to stop judgemental back-chats towards other Americans, even when they say or do stupid things.
I commit myself to be more supportive within the political systems so we can change the rest of the systems.
I commit myself to become more tolerant of people who don't share my views.