Day 41. Energy or Stability?

I was sitting in a group of people who were discussing the Law of Attraction, energy and positive thinking. There were a lot of perspectives being bandied about and while such talk usually ends up boring me, thankfully the conversation turned a corner and someone related the very brief story of the bamboo tree. To grow a bamboo tree, one has to water for what looks like a whisper of a sprout for years and years. One needs to attend to this sprout consistently, attending to water it every day for years. I don't know if this last bit is true, but after 7 years the bamboo suddenly shoots up to a hundred feet tall, or whatever. I don't know anything about bamboo. They do seem to grow very high, though.

I liked this story so much better, however. Firstly, it was instructive in how one doesn't need energy to achieve an outcome. Patient, consistent action and a will that doesn't give up. A recognition that you can't sidestep or shortcut the programming of a bamboo plant also requires no energy. Is it possible that energy isn't as vital as an ingredient to manifesting what you want as it is believed by some?

As I rolled that over in my mind it occurred to me that all my failures in my life came about due to my reactive mental state, emotional instability or just plain giving up. In relationships I must admit in falling on all three points simultaneously. Often. They aren't joking: hindsight is indeed 20/20. If I had only realized how much I was about to lose by falling into emotional, reactive states which I thought, bizarrely, would somehow get me out of trouble. Looking back, it's hilariously funny now that getting out of trouble was never in the cards for me. Giving into emotions, desires, energy and giving up always seemed to leave me worse for wear. It was unfortunate that I couldn't tell the difference or read the moment when it was really time to give up and when it was time to let go. If I instead remained stable throughout the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I could have benefited from better decision-making. I could have saved myself and the people around me from having to deal with loads of unnecessary shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be captivated and carried away through energetics of feelings and emotions - I didn't understand the nature of energetics nor considered that they may not be beneficial to me or others in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to destroy myself and others through misuse of energy and unclear thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider patient stability in dealing with my problems and within my relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly look for shortcuts to reach my goals. This was done out of an inability to slow down and patiently apply myself effectively to the task at hand.

I commit myself to exist with consistent, patient action that brings about the result I'm looking for rather than focusing energy of achieving completion of a goal.