DAY 39 THE SHIT Gurus Say Part 2

And still there's more.

I had another realization upon waking up this morning. The dynamic of the seeking and the search for the "ultimate truth" about life is as old as there have been human being with enough consciousness to wonder what this life is all about. The gurus, more or less, have always said it's to follow their methods or the Gods or a specific religion or "path," or whatever, but recently (well, within the past 150 years or so) a new raison d'être has been offered: to be happy, healthy and goddammit - to feel good! I hear it feels good doing cocaine and heroin and crystal meth - but do it enough and it will kill you.

Is this the crap that passes for "wisdom" these days?  Even a sociopath will feel good about taking advantage of another and feel nothing for any suffering his actions will cause another. People who are religious will "feel good" about their religion and not pay attention or care about their fellow human beings, and will feel good about dropping bombs on them or starve them in order to destroy or convert rival religionists.

Obviously, the "feeling good" bit is a purely sinister piece of garbage that this Light-peddlers push to others to consume. How unfortunate for them that they have no idea that the light they worship and love is something they have no understanding of -  or even the awareness of its vampiric, reptilian nature. How better to control and consume a being's life-force than make it feel good and warm and fuzzy to that being? They will not only love (or notice) that their life-essence is being drained away, they will throw their money at anyone who shows them how to become a willing, unsuspecting victim!

I read this bit this morning, from Creation's Journey to Life:

Consciousness is simply the attempt of the system to understand itself. It‘s the attempt of the Organic Robot as the human trying to understand its point and its purpose within a system. A system within a system attempting to “evolve” into something. It knows there is something. It knows there must be something more, but it can't find it. Because, it's never really looked. 

It’s because the point that you know that is “more” is the point that you don't want to look at. It is the point that takes away all your specialness, it takes away all your fear. It takes away all what you regard you to be, so that what remains; is that which is Equal in Everyone. [1]

You know, this also came up after last night's blog. There was something fascinating to me about the gnostic drama of the Demiurge. The Demiurge in ancient pre-Christian religions was a prideful, inferior being that creates the material world and was frequently identified with the creator God of the Hebrew Bible by pagan sects. His world was flawed because the Creator was flawed, and this explained why the world was so fucked up. This made sense to me, much more than a "good God" creating a flawed and fallen world, as my Christian friends would say. However, there was a point that nobody looks at, and I was among that number.

The Gnostics claimed that there was a "higher" Good God that was "alien" and totally unconnected with this world and that this God somehow - and there are various systems and diagrams and differences of opinion on how this was accomplished - was able to place a secret particle of itself within human beings that it called back to the "Source" of this Good-Alien-God, just as long as you knew the right combination of words or symbols or teacher to follow. This is what we call a back-door. This is what we call self-limitation.

Stay with me. It's a back-door because even this seemingly ingenious model of salvation offers a familiar illusory escape from one's responsibility of having to deal with the world by saying it is "someone else's fault," when all you have is the mind's fiendishly clever acrobatics to escape the hook.

It is self-limitation because nobody ever considers the awful possibility that there is no benevolent Big Daddy watching out for all us poor souls slaughtering and being murdered by each other. It never occurred to me that it was possible that the Light could be the best masquerade for evil ever devised. It never occurred to me to contemplate the ramifications that our universe could be governed by a malevolent force that meant to use us as food. Well, until the first Matrix movie came out. Then I could see it wasn't beyond belief. And when I discovered the Desteni Material, I was able to put 1 + 1 together.

What have we done: 

In the forms and the systems and our expressions we have taken on – we have disregarded Life, and we have made the system, the personality, the ‘spirit-idea’ of everything more than what Life is. 

We have in fact become ‘larger than Life’, and in that has been our demise. 

We have lost our humbleness. We have lost our consideration of each other. We have lost ‘love’ in fact. 

And we’ve made of ‘love’ a definition, an idea, something that we’re attempting to express – but we do not within it consider that it exist in fact within each one as Life. And that Life in consideration of itself within all equally: Is what Love really is. It is within that – which we are One.

[1]http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/08/day-485-end-of-self-awareness-part-3.html#sthash.U4fv7sXf.dpuf

Day 35. Planning

Planning. I like to plan things, especially when there's a great potential for me to have a bunch of fun. Sometimes I become a bit obsessive until I feel a tide of revulsion rising within me - I believe I've considered that point enough!

Lately I have been wondering if such planning is done as a coping mechanism to get away from the present-here, which at the moment is filled with boredom and ennui, It's more interesting in finding the right formula for my plans in every detail. Later I realize that I am obsessing for obsession's sake. Don't know about yours, but my mind will find all kinds of ways to entertain me and keep me occupied within my head. I reckon it's call to plan some things, but I am quite sure I'm taking it too far. And in that, I realize it is taking me from facing self. So clever that mind of mine!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dominated by my mind's focus on getting me to obsess over certain things that keep me from being here,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind to focus on things rather than what's here. I really don't care for this as my relationship to my mind resembles the master-slave relationship (with you-know-who as the slave).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see time wasted in my day looking up things on the Internet.

I commit myself to be more self-aware when I experience my mind taking over my day. That's what happens and I don't have any time to waste. So I commit myself to carry on and realize that tomorrow never comes. Especially for those who spend too much time planning for it.

Day 15. The Bookworm

"Discontinue sagacity, discard knowledge
The people benefit a hundred-fold."
LaoTse


"All the philosophies in the world can't compare to a single physical atom."
Bernard Poolman




I've always enjoyed reading and having a collection of books to support my quest for gaining knowledge and information. For some reason I never experienced any difficulty with reading. My books, my knowledge and my information were crucial in creating and gaining my perspectives in relation to this world. Early in my life I was instilled  with the belief that knowledge and information were the touchstones of our reality. Apparently, people who lived before me had thought great thoughts which were written down, which in fact had initiated and sustained human evolution. My favorite place to be on earth when I was a child was within the marble and sandstone structure called the library.

Now, why would I be spend time talking about something as innocuous as reading as a patterned point to take on? The point is this: The pattern become very dominant in most of my characters and it entailed reading, reflecting, memorizing details and comparing it to my own perspective. Filling my consciousness with knowledge to me seemed like filling my lungs with air.

People who are familiar with the Desteni Process are also familiar about the parasitic nature of the mind consciousness system. The mind consciousness system is not understood by scientists of the mind and consists of the downloaded info passed down through genetics and through the thoughts and knowledge gained by participating within the world. Everyone has built up various personalities and characters that reflect and to cope with the various memories, parental, social and environmental influences that rain down on us daily. For myself, I've used intelligence, vocabulary, memory, reading and writing to support my world-view and mindset. With these I built up a knowledge and information fortress comprised of the pages of books and magazines which gifted me with my personal perspective of the world - which for a lifetime, I considered "correct." It wasn't until I met and studied with Bernard Poolman that it was revealed to me that my knowledge base that I was so proud of made very precious for myself was essentially a religion. And of course, a religion is nothing more than an organized system of beliefs that is used to control and enslave people to a particular imaginary point.

This isn't the blog where I'm going to write about how the accumulated knowledge and information has not made the life better for the typical (non-wealthy) person in this world aside from the technological conveniences and some medical advances. This is the blog where I am writing about something more personal, where knowledge has failed me because I depended on knowledge to make me a better person. And you can be smart as fuck and have an interesting, rewarding life - but what good is it in a world like this? The smartest people in the world have no ideas and certainly no solutions to the global problems in the world. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the problem with knowledge - it's still quite limited and hasn't solved a single social problem since the days of ancient Greece. My acquired knowledge never rang up the solution to the problems of the world. In fact, I once (and ashamed to admit in public) that once could create their reality through imagination. And that flying saucers were due to arrive any moment. Today I cringe that I ever could be taken in so easily.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that acquiring knowledge and information made me "intelligent," when it only made my self-definition dependent on something outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that "intelligence is better than ignorance," and thus since I was "more intelligent than others" I must be "better than others," not realizing that intelligence is limited and I was limiting myself by defining myself is such ways.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to erect an edifice of personalities based on "intellect" and "wisdom," and within that not knowing that these personality structures were based on imagination and mental limitation and ultimately worthless.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use and accumulate knowledge and information to justify my perspectives of the world without finding or observing a solution to or taking responsibility for the problems my perspectives took notice of and objected to.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become isolated within my mind while amassing volumes of knowledge and information, which only diminished my effectiveness within the relationships I maintained in my world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be seduced by the claims that knowledge and information could find an answer to solve all the world's problems without seeing or understand why they never had anything more than a piddling effect throughout all of history.

I commit myself to no longer plunge myself within the refuge of books for the purpose of acquiring knowledge and information that will justify and feed my ego's need to be "special."
I commit myself to use my acquired knowledge and information in a meaningful way - to further and help bring about a solution to the benefit of all, and not waste time on meaningless mind-worship.

Day 13: The Good Son

Mother always said that I never gave her any trouble. Typically I was always a good boy. Truth is I had to work at it, what with being the "man of the house" when I was only eight years old. Even then I knew that I was somehow being shafted out of a "normal" childhood by my parent's situation. So to keep things on an "even keel" I tried very hard to be dependable, reliable and ready for action because my mother had a hard time coping with being a young single parent with four kids.
If it sounds like I have some unresolved issues with my mother, I've gone through enough therapy and self-forgiveness to understand she probably did the best she knew how, and it's pointless to blame. I just need to forgive myself for a lot of self-sacrificing that wasn't to the betterment of my character.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to generate the character of a "Good Son" in order to keep my family together by placating and manipulating my mother into a "good mood."
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deceive my mother by being a "Good Son" - because  wanting to do "good things" and "get noticed" for mother was self-dishonest - because I was more concerned about my own experience than hers.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the "Good Son" as a defense mechanism against the existential fears of my own uncertain surroundings.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to help create my offspring of "good sons" of my own that replicates the pattern throughout all our lives.

I commit myself to stop using this character in order to manipulate others.
I commit myself to forgive and retire this character and develop the standing within myself in accordance to the equality principle without the need to manipulate others to further my self-interest.

Day 12: The Good Guy Character

Looking into the character of the Good Guy, I realize that this is one I've accepted and invested a lot of time in. The Good Guy emerges from my Midwestern roots program. Midwesterners are laid back, plain talking and for the most part, like to pretend that we are very decent people. Good Guys and Gals are Good People: the ones to be counted on and who stood up against Evil. Manners. Politeness. Things that make people feel at ease and comfortable. When looking into this , I realize that this is one I've accepted and invested a lot of time on.  I always wanted to be the Good Guy, ever since my childhood when my mother needed a Good Guy to help her out. Obviously since the Good Guy is often frustrated and humiliated by trying events and bad relationships, behind the smile there is a lot of resentment and anger within that character that can leak out in many ways.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself for creating the Good Guy as a defense mechanism against uncertainty when relating to people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a persona that protects my self-interest in the form of "helping out others."

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself for believing that the Good Guys should always "win," without realizing that winning must create a loser in a competitive battle where the most important thing is to be a winner - thereby creating the justification of being "right." 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself for believing that the Good Guy is always Good, and not looking at the misdeeds and deceptions that also make up my life's story.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become identified with "the Good" while secretly doubting the efficacy and effectiveness in the Good's competitive battle with Evil

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place more attention on the idea of "doing good" rather than being a more effective and self-honest person

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that Good People are "better" than Bad People.

I commit myself to reevaluate the character of the Good Guy and bring it into line within the principle of Oneness and Equality, and seeing where my character contributes to self-dishonesty by wrapping itself with the mantle of "goodness" and "fair play" without actually changing myself into a person that transcends this false dichotomy and works towards the benefit for all, equal and one.

Day 10: The Substances of Separation

 "But as with Energy that has emerged as the substance of separation within me, because I did not stand with/as my equality and oneness – Money as the World-System has emerged as the manifestation of separation, because we as humanity could not regulate/take directive principles of our relationships with ourselves, each other and this physical existence in working/living together, and so money became the substitute that is controlling/regulating the functioning/existing of humanity as a whole together on this Earth." (Emphasis added) [1]

And here the formulation of the entirety of the Human Condition is succinctly stated, framed and made crystal clear. The alienation, dread, loneliness and the search for meaning and control in this world can all be reduced to a singular condition - separation. To deal with this sense of dreadful separation the fearful minds of human beings created Gods. Then shortly after that - money.


And it was all placed before us by the shamen, priests and philosophers, and later by the elites, scientists and investment bankers, all selling the same snake oil - and we all simply bought it and never questioned it. Hell, I knew something was terribly wrong with this world since my childhood, and I knew the "Spiritual Masters" were not telling us the entire story - but I never imagined how deep the controls really went! "How are going to make others buy into their enslavement?" Answer: print some dollars and tell them they have to buy the right to survive and see what happens - very few will even question it! Oh yes, there have been movements to make the financial racket "more fair" and less absolute, but look - movements like the Marxism, Communism and socialism were co-opted by Capitalism from Day One, and long ago became irrelevant in the matter concerning how human relations should be ideally formed. Social critics like Marx, Emma Goldman and Herbert Marcuse  and even Freud who held various straws of the problems of social oppression between human beings could not have guessed how far they would have to go in their research to get anywhere near the clarity and truthfulness of the quoted passage above. One could scarcely do better in finding a better laid - out schematic on how this world became so fucked up. Don't fall for the baloney from money - chasing New Agers and Celebrity Gurus and other paragons of wisdom, either. To them, the physical world is not real, anyway. The only things that really get them juiced is energy and money. Doesn't matter if most of the followers of New Age-ism don't have any money! They see that as their "Earth-School" opportunity to think and grow rich - content within their own bubble of consciousness while the rest of the world goes to hell. 


As a former Seeker of Truth about the Nature of Reality, I sought answers from what I believed were unorthodox sources. And while I was entertained with looking through these "channeled" material and "spiritual" hogwash, what I ultimately got out of it was an unsatisfying sense of "something missing." But I just couldn't put my finger on it. The entire spiritual construct seemed completely ineffective in stopping (or at the very least, curbing) the daily parade of atrocities and suffering that infect this world. All they offered were warm, fuzzy words and mental experiments where we were promised to have the power to "create our own reality" through the powers of consciousness. But if this was so, why did nothing ever change?


Because the problem is our relationship to consciousness, energy and (wait for it) money. And if one considers that this Holy Trinity of the substances of separation is where we must begin our work in deconstructing the problem of the enslavement of the human race, one must feel that we are finally standing on the firm ground of sanity and an actionable path in finding solutions to our problems. The solution is to first recognize that such substances of separation in fact exist. Too many people need to understand this. But, there are many seekers like myself who can put 1 + 1 together. And now that this truly revolutionary turn in human understanding has finally been made available for the first time, it is only a matter of time before more people attain the same realizations needed to finally place this world in a state of equality and oneness which is our True Substance and Being. Many thanks to Sunette Spies, Bernard Poolman and the rest of the Destonians who are making this material available.




I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself for failing to understand the connection between the energy of consciousness within and the energy of money that I allowed to control my actions and thoughts.
I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself for not recognizing that there exists a separation within the relationships of human beings and within that "gap" flows the blood of the system: money. And it is this blood of the system that I yearned to be baptized in, allowing me to become acceptable in the sight of the system and to myself. 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek after answers in unverifiable sources that promised that "everything will be alright in the end" and that "love and light will one day vanquish evil forever," instead of immediately question why love and light has never accomplished one goddamn thing in existence except deluding people into false beliefs that promise energy, higher consciousness and an escape from consequence.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could find the truth and the truth could "set me free" 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to come to the idea that everything in life was "all about money," and feeling incapable of changing anything about how it all worked, especially myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could desire to obtain money and pursuing "higher consciousness" became my "directive principle" in my life. 
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with money throughout my life, a pattern that was duplicated/copied and passed down from my family who always struggled with not having enough money.


I commit myself in expanding my realizations about the energetic of consciousness and money and utilize that understanding in showing myself and others the way towards equality and oneness, which is the only solution to the problems that threaten and diminish all.



[1] Heaven's Journey to Life, Day 3

Day 7 The Desire for Special Spiritual Knowledge

Deep into my spirituality years I was quite the seeker of what I thought was rare and obscure metaphysical information that was contained in channeled materials. I didn't follow everything as some of it was evern too goofy for me to swallow. Such as the Course in Miracles, which never failed to put me to sleep with ponderous mumbo-jumbo like this:

"What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of knowledge?" (p. 188)

Actually, this kind of sentiment would have appealed to me, if I hadn't looked deeper at what it really said. In any case, I just couldn't take most of it. Really. "What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of knowledge?" That doesn't even make sense. Knowledge is just a bunch of information that someone acquires. I suppose knowing that fire is hot and ice could comes in handy, but would one really call an agency for the restoration of health? As a metaphor, this type of metaphysical goo stinks, because it doesn't say anything substantial. And that the problem with metaphysics as a whole, especially when it's words coming from the "spiritual realms" where nobody can independently verify anything that has been claimed. What one is left is a clever arrangement of words, words, words purported to descend from "Masters" who work for the benefit of lifting Humanity up from the gross material world to the rarefied spiritual planes.

However, during my time as a spiritual Seeker, I was into channeled material big time. My favorites were Jane Roberts' Seth Material and the Messages from Michael. I read a bit of Kyron and Ramtha, but they didn't tickle my knowledge bone, and plus I didn't trust what was coming from Ramtha and suspected him to be a fake. The Seth Material was ultimately my cup of tea. I fell into it through searching for the meaning of a White Light experience that had recently occurred in my life and what the Seth Material spoke of seemed to fit perfectly. Neale Donald Walsch was also on my radar, but the more I read of his Conversations with God, the more I began to see nothing within that series was actually of any substance. Try applying those precepts. They simply don't work.

What I didn't understand or even ask myself was where did my desire for knowledge come from? I did have the sense that what I was looking for was some kind of direction, but never did I question (until many years later) whether such a yearning could have been used as a means of control. This only became apparent when I chose to step outside of what I perceived to be control: instead of experiencing freedom and clarity, bad things always happened to me. But I saw that bad things never seemed to happen to those who profited from obviously evil, pathological acts like the war-mongers and the super elites. I always seemed to lose more and more the further I tried to live whatever special spiritual knowledge I had acquired.  So have many other well-meaning humans throughout time. And we got nothing out of it. Even those who did, like Mother Teresa, was ultimately left with such oppressive doubts of God's power on Earth to the point where she even stopped praying. At least she had sense enough to question her faith. Over the years my faith in special spiritual knowledge began to erode with a greater understanding on how little impact it had in the affairs of the world. Perhaps if we amended the above ACIM quote to read:


"What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of common sense?"

 we could finally begin to see the scales faith and know fall from our eyes. But being the well-conditioned, self-perpetuating delusional robots people have always been, we won't drop their faiths and beliefs willingly or without much pain and suffering, which is unnecessary and inevitable. We do not know how to direct ourselves via common sense because we have forever relied on being directed by whatever knowledge or opinion strikes fancy in our ear. In order to appreciate the simplicity of the healing powers of common sense, we first have to acknowledge that what we have relied upon does not work for the best of all. It sure as hell doesn't work for most of us! Doesn't that appear to be a problem? The search for spiritual knowledge is the beginning of deception. Just ask Mother Teresa.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to entertain the belief that I could attain some sort of freedom through the access of special spiritual knowledge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that special spiritual knowledge could change the world for the better and not understanding that no beliefs can ever change the world for the better for everyone, only common sense action within the living principle of equality can do so.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my accessing special spiritual knowledge would be enough to change my life for the better, and not realizing that this was a desire based on self-interest alone and not of any benefit for anyone else.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question whether the search for special spiritual knowledge was something I directed on my own or was implanted in my head through acceptance of so-called spiritual knowledge from others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with special spiritual knowledge I received through various books I read.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with special spiritual knowledge I received through channeled material from so-called "spiritual masters" and authors.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel "special" within my presumed understanding of special spiritual knowledge, as if I had grasped the Key to Life while others remained in the ignorance of their childish beliefs.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand that if I only rely on special spiritual knowledge as my methodology to deal with the world, the knowledge only exists in my mind and is useless without taking all into consideration, and further, without action, such knowledge by itself, is the height of the self-deception of consciousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that consciousness is superior to the physical.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that my search for special spiritual knowledge was a program that I had activated and not self-directed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowledge gained through consciousness was superior to ordinary spiritual knowledge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that my consciousness was equipped to discern between real special spiritual knowledge and phony special spiritual knowledge.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a pattern of acquiring special spiritual knowledge as a way to feel good about myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was superior to others by virtue of having special spiritual knowledge and they didn't.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as "stupid" and "manipulated" when I realized that my search for special spiritual knowledge was fruitless vanity.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that as my search for special spiritual knowledge progressed, the less effective I became in directing my life.

I am grateful (eternally) that when I had finally put away my search for special spiritual knowledge I encountered the Desteni Material almost immediately. Never again will I succumb to White Light propaganda or religious belief systems, as they have proven to be utterly useless in addressing anything of relevance. I read the damn material and I saw what was missing: even though my heart was firmly with those who suffer and are without hope, I did not recognize my own self-interest within all things and I sure as hell didn't appreciate the extent of  my responsibility to all. This is why the Desteni Material is different. It embraces everything that special spiritual knowledge has ever rejected: what is Here in Oneness and Equality