Thursday, August 30, 2012

Day 18: The Snob

"Eminence front - It's a put on."
According to some dictionaries, a snob is someone who believes that they are superior to others in taste and class, although the prime ingredient to be a snob is a self-importance that is offensively arrogant and annoying. And since I have experienced everyone in my life at one time or another to be arrogant and annoying, I feel that I am somewhat of an expert in bringing this character up for discussion.

Yes, I have been quite a snob in my life, usually  about things that I believe to be the most important of matters. Style, books, politics, art, music. Especially music. Don't get me started on music, because it would be my immense pleasure to inform you of the two types of music in this world: the music I like - which is genius, and the childish crap you like, and the only difference between us is that I have taste. This is what makes me a snob.

Oh yeah, and your politics? More boring than reading Ayn Rand. I despise Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Tea-Baggers, Libertarians (especially so), anarchists, Communists, Socialists, whatever... They all represent the status quo and they all do more harm than good. None of them act in the best interests of the people anyway, so don't pretend that your political affiliation is worth bragging about because it isn't.

Movies? The ones I like are the ones you should like. Don't bother showing me your favorite movies or television shows because they are most likely crap. By virtue of my wonderfully impeccable taste  in all things of art and culture, allow me to bestow upon you my favorites, as I already know you will extremely impressed with my erudite sense of style, fashion, taste and opinion. And if you aren't, it's only because you're a half-wit.

But what makes my snobby character so interesting is that it all my motivations for impressing others with my ideas, thoughts and opinions are based on a multitude of fears. Fears of inadequacies, failures, secrets, hidden shames. It took me a long time to realize this, but the tougher the talk the more insecure that person really is. Obvious so, isn't it?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as "better than" others simply because they don't agree with my perspectives and opinions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that others are not as smart as me because their glaring imperfections of their thoughts has blinded them to the obvious errors of their judgments and tastes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are stupid, ignorant sheep who don't know their ass from a shovel and dumber than a sack of rocks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for being really stupid and brainwashed by the cultural taste makers and media pundits.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the cultural taste-makers and  pundits for being so good at their job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for thinking to myself that people are hopelessly misled by forces beyond their reckoning.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain thoughts that say that "this person is an idiot."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed over the fact that people won't "get it," that is, recognize what is happening around them, until it is waaay too late.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become physically drained after entertaining snobbish thoughts during my day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for reacting in anger when I see or read something that is so patently and metaphysically wrong - usually in relation to people or a group of people being abused in an atrocious way, with the exasperated astonished thought being broadcast as, "How in the world is that allowed to happen?"
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the consequences of holding the thoughts of snobbery, because nothing comes from snobbery except more separation - which is not a great thing.
I commit myself to end all manifestations of snobbery within my thoughts, words and deeds, and I understand it will be difficult, since I've been a practicing snob for many decades now. But I now understand that nothing useful comes out of producing more separation, which is exactly what snobbery does. Time to stop and get over it.

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